We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
