Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My bed smells like the plague
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
