Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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