dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
