I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sorry about my life...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
