Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
