nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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