oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
