don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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