Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
