I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize