and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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