For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
