Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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