Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize