There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My life is pants optional.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
