Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
