Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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