My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
