Me. At least after what I've been through.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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