just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Randomize
