Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
