Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
