Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
