Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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