I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
