P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
