is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
