i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
