Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
