were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
