Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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