What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
as a side note pls kill me
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
