Do vagina's smell?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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