i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize