I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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