Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
