I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
