We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize