I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
