Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
