Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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