Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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