after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Sext me about skeletons
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
