even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize