My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
