thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
