I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
