Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She even gives head with a lisp.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
