You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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