I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Randomize
