Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
