we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
