Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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