She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
