so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
