just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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