why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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